Tacos y Burritos....tacos tacos

I was totally scared and sickly exciting with the prospect of Tatiana Del Toro making it into the top 12. But after hearing her talk tonight I realized I just have not been exposed to her craziness of late. Thank you judges for sparing us or maybe robbing us from countless Crazy Horse personalities. She can sing though. It was annoying how the judges had to coddle her. Don't blame them tho, if craziness has taught me anything it's you can never too careful. They were just insuring they will live to see next weeks show.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously I am totally happy with the return of Anoop Dawg. I love this 90s obsessed Indian. He's been a favorite of mine since the first time I saw his coolots clad audition. My only advise is to try to expand your song picks to a time frame longer than 10 years. Good luck man!

For the most part the wild card round went well. My only qualms is with Megan. I want to like her. I loved her in auditions because she is original and has an interesting voice. However, she is way too nervous and it gets in the way. She can't move on stage to save her life. Judges say, "Wasn’t the best vocal but here’s the deal, we stopped being judges and started licking assholes."

Next week top 13!
I cannot wait. Hopping to see a little more of this....

Go Lambert!
(not really)

Meet the sick fucks responsible for this drivel:

So before we start down the long and treacherously winding "Peewee road" of Idol season 8, we thought you might want to get to know us - your humble guides through the emotional minefield looming in the distance. As a well-known 1980s songstress once remarked - love is a battlefield, and we stand before you - fearless generals leading our troops to bloody, sweaty, feces-smeared, semen-soaked glory.

And now... without further meandering bullshit... ladies and gentlemen, the guilty parties:

Mike Murder

IT handle: creepycrooner
Sign: slippery when wet
Favorite Movie: 2 girls 1 cup
Favorite Song: No More I Love Yous (Annie Lennox version, somewhat obviously)
Favorite Idol: that's a hard one - if you combine Kelly Clarkson's voice, Jordin Sparks' devil-may-care spunk, David Cook's rock n roll swagger and Ruben Studdard's excellent rack - that would be my favorite Idol.
Least Favorite Idol: that's an easy one - Taylor Hicks hands down. I mean seriously, soul patrol? Go fuck yourself.
Turn-ons: Randy Jackson's flattop, honesty, when a girl touches your arm every time she laughs (like in that one Seinfeld ep), meatloaf.
Turn-offs: crying in pop music, Taylor Hicks, that new AI judge, when Serafina talks about her cats, celery.
Fake Mustache Style: John Waters




Serafina Costanza

IT handle: Juice Box
Sign: dangerous curves ahead
Favorite Movie: Sky High
Favorite Song: Bette Davis Eyes (kinda shitty Gwyneth Paltrow version from the Duets soundtrack, somewhat obviously)
Favorite Idol: Kelly Clarkson 'cause she's Miss Independant, motherfucker!
Least Favorite Idol: David Cook 'cause he's a douche bag.
Turn-ons: cats (the animal not the musical of the same name), the kid that glows from Sky High (I'd go to jail for you, my son!), Polacks, walks on the beach, cheap wine, Nancy Sinatra karaoke.
Turn-offs: Mike not caring about my cats, sneaky gypsy neighbors, being woken up (particularly by family members), coffee shops with no free refills (WTF!?)
Fake Mustache Style: Adolf Hitler/Charlie Chaplin (your choice)

Plan on learning a lot more about us (probably more than you'll ever want to) over the course of the season. Take our proverbial candy and step into our proverbial molester van as we discover deep seeded truths and startling (sometimes inappropriately erotic) revelations about ourselves as well as the Idol contestants and judges (except that new bitch. Fuck her) on an amazing journey into the darkest reaches of American obsession and karaoke on a ludicrous scale. And don't tell your parents. Seriously. Or we'll fucking cut you.