The Top 36 are in! Good thing?

I first would like to apologize for not posting in over a week. I know you're thinking it's too late to apologize and you are right, there are no excuses. To be fair though I have been busy. After all, Hobocamp isn't gonna run itself!

The judges deliberated hotness vs talent and the results are in. The Top 36 is a mix of both with a touch of craziness. The nerves were high and the confidence low... Thanks to super boy Seacrest we were able to listen in to the dramatic questions running through contestants heads. "Did I do enough? Did I choose the right song? Did I take that tampon out of my ass!?"

I gotta say some of the judges picks really surprised me. The one that kills me the most is crazy horse Tatiana Nicole Del Toro. Simon should have stopped this. She more likely to kill them all in their sleep than becoming the next American Idol, this chick is beyond psycho. I really don't think a single thought stays in her head more than 10 seconds.

Now that she's out of the way let's move on to the sob stories who live on.






First we have Danny Gokey or Gokey, as I like to call him. He started auditions with the sad story of loosing his wife and has entered the top 36 and lost his bestie. I think Jamal (his bestie) was a bit better. It's going to be hard for Gokey to get by without his super best friend but I'm sure their love will live on - through music of course!

Kai made his sick mummy proud by making it in. I have to say not a huge fan. Again Jamal is better.

Blindie made it! I think the judges were afraid to no to a blind guy. It's in America's hands now! I'm just wondering what they are going to do if he does make it and they start doing the group dance/singing numbers together. Maybe he'll just stand in the middle of the stage and move his arms....

Lil Rounds, or when Bix saw her and said, "Look at those tig ol' bitties! More like big rounds!" So Big Rounds is an excellent singer. You go girl! Stand up tall and be proud of your big ol' boobies!

The last sob story, Ghey Bird Nathaniel, is not one of the original sobers if I remember correctly. However, he's one of those kids that has had it hard because there's music on his skin... Or something like that. He's a drama queen and definitely in love with Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle. He might need someone to help him get over taking someone else's dream away.

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Jail-bait

Prisoners
These 16 year olds are legal in 34 states, Nevada being one of them. So watch out Arianna, Allison, Taylor, Ugly Jessica Beal (Stevie), & Jasmine, there are rough necks among you!

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These two guys are not only on opposite side of this blog but also completely opposite when it comes to talent. Anoop (right) is 1,000% better than stage-boy Adam Lambert. Lambert is the one who chose to sing Believe by Cher. Need I say more? Yes? Ok. If any of you were unfortunate enough to hear his rendition of the song (that should ONLY be performed by Cher herself!) you know how rediculus it was. I'll be surprised is he has any balls left. His last name reminds me of a song... Lambert the gayest something or other. Needless to say I was shocked when the judges stuck their heads up his ass and passed him through. I guess we'll have to handle this on our own America. Why vote for Lamby when you can vote for Anoop!?

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Though I'm a bit upset with Lambie, I'm totally happy wannabe Winehouse was sent home! Bye bye Frankie. And to answer your question, yes.

Chin up, Frankie Jordan, this could be you....

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Felicia "I give good head" Barton has replaced Joanna "I've already had my chance and failed" Pacitti. Apparently Joanna knows one or more of the producers of AI and she was disqualified. I feel bad for Joanna but I she did forget the words 3 times in Hollywood week. Good luck blow job queen! You will go far...

Speaking of blow jobs, Von Smith frightens me. I feel every time he opens his mouth to sing he is going to eat somebody. He sings well but it's pretty amazing how big this guy's mouth can get.

See! I told you.

There is so much more to talk about but it'll have to wait until later. Overall this season seems like it's gonna be a good one. Anything will be better than last year. Fuck David Cook in the ear!

Till next week my dawgs....

Hello IT followers. Let me start out by getting a little personal, it’s been a rough week for me. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a baby girl and those bastards named her after me. I think that sucks, big time. So here is a gigantic FUCK YOU! For stealing my name.

Ok now that that’s over, back to business.
This week American Idol has brought the weakness. San Fran offered up a fake Puerto Rican and I totally agree with Mr. Murder, fake accent all the way. But don’t you think she’s kind of a hottie? Strip away the weird dress, pink lipstick and ignore her small boobs, she’s hot in a “you’re so crazy it’s starting to turn me on,” way. I predict a fabulous career in dating shows – Blind Date meet Tatiana.

BTW. Mr. Murder I have a bone to pick with you. I, as the queen of Hobocamp, take offense to you classifying carpetbag jacket man as a bum. He is obviously a Geico caveman and has proved singing is not so easy a caveman can do it. Though the judges may just be discriminatory.

Broadway boy totally sucks nuts and I am completely disappointed with the judges. He is not one of the best he is actually one of the worst. He reminds me of a hotter version of the hated David Cook. Tons of 14-year-old girls who can’t figure out he’s totally gay, will keep him in the competition. Stay on the stage my main man. That is were you belong.

And this girl!?

Who shows up to American Idol, the best talent show of all time, without preparing a song or at least a sob story? Come on, I mean COME ON!

This competition is turning into American Sob Story. And come to think of it hated Cook is a sob story himself. Come on folks this is a motherfuckin competition. Get through on your talent and leave your story at the door, for now. I don’t want to see any kids and I don’t give a hot shit if you were homeless! My dad is a felon and a crazy, you don’t see me marching up to AI auditions now do you?

Louisville Kentucky enter Horseface “I have a Cadbury egg stuck in my throat” McGee. Can’t sing and can barely move in a non-awkward way.

The chick that Kara has heard of, the one that was previously signed, was decent. I like her and once she gets her confidence back she’ll do fine. Maybe she’ll pick up a sob story or two to solidify her place.

For the rest of the auditions I’m a bit fuzzy. Had a couple and can’t read my notes well enough to make any sense. However I vaguely remember a giantess, a super nerd with super teeth and a dueling piano guy who will be the J-Tim of season 8! Oh and next stop Florida.

I’ll end this blog with some advice for the newbie. Take it easy! Simon is a trickster and just cause he’s talking shit doesn’t mean he is going to say no. You can’t keep a shit talker quiet. Now if you talked some more shit I’m sure they’ll let you speak more. Remember Bikini Bitch? They let you talk to her all you wanted.

Whoever is dating Dane Cook should be shot on the spot, nuff said.