Group Round Strikes Again

Wow. This season's groups were wild, Destiny's Wild that is. For some insane reason the groups decided to give themselves names each more ridiculous than the last: The Dreamers, The Mighty Rangers, Destiny's Wild, Neapolitan, Phoenix, Faith and Team Awesome, just to name a few.

I was surprised that there wasn't a names like, "Ugly Criers" or "I'm One Group Away From Going Home." Group time is not the best time, but if you are going to be a contestant on this show you must have a strategy for survival.
Speaking of ugly criers, the self proclaimed Jack Black look-a-like is one of the worst criers I have ever seen. I think it was even worse than Russell Crowe in Gladiator. I mean come on man! You are 28 years old. It's definitely a bummer you didn't make it but keep some dignity brother! Ask your self, "What Would Jack Black Do?"

Three men and a Baby, not only had a decently funny/appropriate name but were all good singers. They kept it simple and which helped them because they had a medium sized group. Most groups had too many members and too much drama. Keep it simple people and practice!

Though I have never attended an Idol group day I have been paying attention and here is how you pass group day. I call them the 4 Rules for Passing Group Day:

1. Small groups. A group of 3-4 is the best way to go. Less people = less drama.
2. Stay away from songs that are difficult. Forgetting words = going home.
3. Keep sassy teens and Mary Powers away. Don't let annoying people suck the talent out of ya.
4. Sing well.

Stick to these simple rules and you're sure to make it to the next brutal day in HellWeek - hotel banquet room waiting......

Tonight is sure to be a good night! 71 made it pass hellish group day but only 24 will make it. Who will be the next American Idol!?
Tells us Seacrest, TELL US!!!!

The Top 36 are in! Good thing?

I first would like to apologize for not posting in over a week. I know you're thinking it's too late to apologize and you are right, there are no excuses. To be fair though I have been busy. After all, Hobocamp isn't gonna run itself!

The judges deliberated hotness vs talent and the results are in. The Top 36 is a mix of both with a touch of craziness. The nerves were high and the confidence low... Thanks to super boy Seacrest we were able to listen in to the dramatic questions running through contestants heads. "Did I do enough? Did I choose the right song? Did I take that tampon out of my ass!?"

I gotta say some of the judges picks really surprised me. The one that kills me the most is crazy horse Tatiana Nicole Del Toro. Simon should have stopped this. She more likely to kill them all in their sleep than becoming the next American Idol, this chick is beyond psycho. I really don't think a single thought stays in her head more than 10 seconds.

Now that she's out of the way let's move on to the sob stories who live on.






First we have Danny Gokey or Gokey, as I like to call him. He started auditions with the sad story of loosing his wife and has entered the top 36 and lost his bestie. I think Jamal (his bestie) was a bit better. It's going to be hard for Gokey to get by without his super best friend but I'm sure their love will live on - through music of course!

Kai made his sick mummy proud by making it in. I have to say not a huge fan. Again Jamal is better.

Blindie made it! I think the judges were afraid to no to a blind guy. It's in America's hands now! I'm just wondering what they are going to do if he does make it and they start doing the group dance/singing numbers together. Maybe he'll just stand in the middle of the stage and move his arms....

Lil Rounds, or when Bix saw her and said, "Look at those tig ol' bitties! More like big rounds!" So Big Rounds is an excellent singer. You go girl! Stand up tall and be proud of your big ol' boobies!

The last sob story, Ghey Bird Nathaniel, is not one of the original sobers if I remember correctly. However, he's one of those kids that has had it hard because there's music on his skin... Or something like that. He's a drama queen and definitely in love with Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle. He might need someone to help him get over taking someone else's dream away.

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Jail-bait

Prisoners
These 16 year olds are legal in 34 states, Nevada being one of them. So watch out Arianna, Allison, Taylor, Ugly Jessica Beal (Stevie), & Jasmine, there are rough necks among you!

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These two guys are not only on opposite side of this blog but also completely opposite when it comes to talent. Anoop (right) is 1,000% better than stage-boy Adam Lambert. Lambert is the one who chose to sing Believe by Cher. Need I say more? Yes? Ok. If any of you were unfortunate enough to hear his rendition of the song (that should ONLY be performed by Cher herself!) you know how rediculus it was. I'll be surprised is he has any balls left. His last name reminds me of a song... Lambert the gayest something or other. Needless to say I was shocked when the judges stuck their heads up his ass and passed him through. I guess we'll have to handle this on our own America. Why vote for Lamby when you can vote for Anoop!?

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Though I'm a bit upset with Lambie, I'm totally happy wannabe Winehouse was sent home! Bye bye Frankie. And to answer your question, yes.

Chin up, Frankie Jordan, this could be you....

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Felicia "I give good head" Barton has replaced Joanna "I've already had my chance and failed" Pacitti. Apparently Joanna knows one or more of the producers of AI and she was disqualified. I feel bad for Joanna but I she did forget the words 3 times in Hollywood week. Good luck blow job queen! You will go far...

Speaking of blow jobs, Von Smith frightens me. I feel every time he opens his mouth to sing he is going to eat somebody. He sings well but it's pretty amazing how big this guy's mouth can get.

See! I told you.

There is so much more to talk about but it'll have to wait until later. Overall this season seems like it's gonna be a good one. Anything will be better than last year. Fuck David Cook in the ear!

Till next week my dawgs....