Hell Weak Strikes Again

Hell week has arrived! This is one of the most brutal rounds of all - sudden death and groups. Let the tears and cheers commence!!!!

Let me start off with a critique of Ellen, the new, unnecessary 4th judge, beloved Paula's replacement. I liked her. OK, on the the contestants....

Just kidding! My first impression of Ellen is all good. I thought she might not take it too seriously but she is super cereal. I see her giving honest, non-annoying feedback to the contestants and she's funny. I can see her fucking with contestants and judges alike. GO ELLEN!

Really? Really!?
Oh no! Skii bo ski didn't make it! What a surprise, I thought for sure this guy's charm would win over the judges. Instead he made Ellen feel like he was stalking her, maybe it's hard to shake that "just from jail vibe." According to a Fox news report, Mr. Bo Ski was released from jail just in time to make it to the audition. Keep your head up bro, least you're free...

Who can forget the backwoods girl who jumps bridges but don't hang out at the malls? We knew she wasn't going to pass hell week but I really wanted her to! I wanted to see the transformation from "areo-plane" to "Bitch, don't you know who I am?" Oh well, perhaps we will see her again next year. Hopefully she'll shed her noob vibe and kick some ass, I mean she's seen enough of the world now right? Big buildings, fancy streets, flying machines, she's all sophisticated now!

Jay Stone - Sucks!

Justin Williams
This guy beat cancer but not hell week. I don't like his attitude. He's all "I survived cancer and I'm hot, so obvi I'm the next American Idol!" I don't think so my son.

Fully!

Here are my predictions for top 24:

Janell Wheeler.
It looks like her bags are packed and she's ready to stay in Hollywood! She chose a great song that is hard to sing and she nailed it. I think she will stick around, she's nail worthy.

The single mums: Mary Powers and Crystal "yellow teeth" Bowersox both have the balls and the chops to make it past the dreaded group round. It seems YT's (yellow teeth) last minute tattoo was a good choice. I don't quite understand why she would want her son's name on her back forever. She'll have the responsibility forever! Ain't that enough?

Didi Benami, the emotional waitress. I like her a lot, I only hope she can make it through the group round, she seems to be a bit fragile still... Pull it together Didi! I'll be rootin' fer ya!

Check out this video of Didi and YT.


Andrew Garcia
This guy is straight up talented. Choosing an Abdul song was a great idea, changing it up Kris with a K style was an even better move. Attention all Idol contestants: choose popular songs from artists who are not the best singers, change it up a bit and sing it better. Follow this and you are sure to do fine! I predict this guy makes it to the top 12, easy.

My predictions are solid, however, anything can and will happen in the group round. I am looking forward to mascara smears and shattered dreams! Oh and the DRAMA!!!