Crystal Bowersox See the Light
Not only is Momma Sox the best girl, she's the best in the whole darn competition! Only she can come out of a diabetic coma and sing like that. I also loved how she called Simon out for having a 2 story trailer! Way to throw the street performance comment back at him! I took issue with it. Yes, some Street performers are a dime a dozen but so are some (more, in my opinion) recording artists! ALSO, I gave my number to a street performer once...My favorite performance of the night.
Kara side note: The judge was obviously preoccupied with giving Simon an HJ under the table and misspoke when she said Sox’s last song as What’s Going On. Is this a sign of drug abuse? Trying to be a little more like her old co-judge? Also, why is she all of a sudden buddy buddy with Simon. WHAT IS GOING ON!?
We have the scoop! Watch out later this week for behind the scenes action only IT can give you. You will laugh, cry and possibly vomit....
Haeley Vaughn
The Climb
Cant. Stop. Smiling. Haeley will never need Botox, her massive grill does the job just fine. She needs to step back off the mic, I’m afraid she might go in for a big smile and accidentally swallow it. I think in the future she will be better, but for now she needs more practice. I don’t know what the judges are saying about her connecting with the song, she never connects with any song she sings, she is a smiley, happy go lucky 16-year-old with no real life experience.
Basically, you suck but keep smiling...
Way to call Simon out for being mean, Seacrest. Thank god you did,
otherwise I wouldn’t of known...
Seacrest 1 Simon 1,000
Lacey Brown
Kiss me
Umm yeah, her Momma is wrong! I don't understand why they would show a clip of last weeks performance, that’s not doing anybody any good. For me it was just as horrid as her rendition of Landslide. Throughout her performance I found myself thinking, “YES! Someone please kiss her and stop the appalling noises that continue to violate my ears.” Yeah, she has a unique sound, I call it annoying. She might be back tho, damn America!
Katie Stevens
Something Record On
She’s pretty funny, I like her personality. I was actually surprised that she isn’t an annoying 17-year-old. That’s hard to come by these days. Maybe being so close to death has matured her, you know, like Harry Potter and shit. The performance was OK, could have chosen a better song but she sounded better towards the end. Believe in yourself and you shall go far...
Didi Benami
Lean on Me
Singer songwriter? Say what now? OK, she definitely needs to stop pointing at people in the crowd, its like she’s trying to bring them in on stage with her. She needs a little more confidence, I think she did better than the judges critique! Kara - shut your mouth - it was good and you don’t need to say it over and over again, actually you don’t have to say anything over and over again. Way to be way too harsh, Where was Seacrest on that one? Way better than Gozer. Say she didn’t and I’ll slap a beard on yo face!
Michelle Delamor
With Arms Wide Open
All these church goers! Jesus. She’s gotta jaw on her! Good song choice, interesting, started out good, got weird at points, totally failed the end. She needed to make a choice, she changed it around but then went back to the original arrangement and it didn’t really work.
Simon - thank you for admitting you judges are a hot mess when it comes to advice.
Lilly Scott
Change Gonna Come
I don’t like how she changed her hair from gray to blonde, way to be indie. Her performance was really good. Judge’s comments, not so much. Kara please, “you just had your moment, moment meaning...ME!” What the fuck is she talking about?
Katelyn Epperly
the Scientist
Katelyn.................. looks................... like................. a............................ dead....................... fish..................... in................ all............. the............... background................ shots.
This song is boring and slow to begin with, she slowed it down too much. At times I thought she forgot the words. This was all bad. Boring, so boring I think she bored herself. She had moments where the look on her face read like “Where am I? What am I doing? I have to sneeze.” I liked Didi better.
I kind of love you? Kara? Are you fucking serious? Shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot!
Don’t get it.
Paige Miles
Walk Away
I like to color too, but it's a sign of a retard, like eating cake. Great performance! One of the best of the night. Judges you crazy! Kara, you an idiot.
Siobhan Magnus
Think
What the fuck is she wearing!? Weirdo. You better think about that outfit girl! I liked her mohawk look. By the sound and look of her I classify her as retard genius. She sounds high all the time and her outfit is that of a 15-year-old stuck in the 2nd grade. I’m totally gonna try her shower learnin’ technique...maybe I should start taking more showers....
Top 4
1. Momma Sox
2. Paige Miles
3. Big “not-so-gray” Gray
4. Tard Genius
America - get it right and send Gozer back to the fridge and Haeley back to high school.
We have the scoop! Watch out later this week for behind the scenes action only IT can give you. You will laugh, cry and possibly vomit....
Haeley Vaughn The Climb
Cant. Stop. Smiling. Haeley will never need Botox, her massive grill does the job just fine. She needs to step back off the mic, I’m afraid she might go in for a big smile and accidentally swallow it. I think in the future she will be better, but for now she needs more practice. I don’t know what the judges are saying about her connecting with the song, she never connects with any song she sings, she is a smiley, happy go lucky 16-year-old with no real life experience.
Basically, you suck but keep smiling...
Way to call Simon out for being mean, Seacrest. Thank god you did,
otherwise I wouldn’t of known...
Seacrest 1 Simon 1,000
Lacey Brown Kiss me
Umm yeah, her Momma is wrong! I don't understand why they would show a clip of last weeks performance, that’s not doing anybody any good. For me it was just as horrid as her rendition of Landslide. Throughout her performance I found myself thinking, “YES! Someone please kiss her and stop the appalling noises that continue to violate my ears.” Yeah, she has a unique sound, I call it annoying. She might be back tho, damn America!
Katie Stevens Something Record On
She’s pretty funny, I like her personality. I was actually surprised that she isn’t an annoying 17-year-old. That’s hard to come by these days. Maybe being so close to death has matured her, you know, like Harry Potter and shit. The performance was OK, could have chosen a better song but she sounded better towards the end. Believe in yourself and you shall go far...
Didi Benami Lean on Me
Singer songwriter? Say what now? OK, she definitely needs to stop pointing at people in the crowd, its like she’s trying to bring them in on stage with her. She needs a little more confidence, I think she did better than the judges critique! Kara - shut your mouth - it was good and you don’t need to say it over and over again, actually you don’t have to say anything over and over again. Way to be way too harsh, Where was Seacrest on that one? Way better than Gozer. Say she didn’t and I’ll slap a beard on yo face!
Michelle Delamor With Arms Wide Open
All these church goers! Jesus. She’s gotta jaw on her! Good song choice, interesting, started out good, got weird at points, totally failed the end. She needed to make a choice, she changed it around but then went back to the original arrangement and it didn’t really work.
Simon - thank you for admitting you judges are a hot mess when it comes to advice.
Lilly Scott Change Gonna Come
I don’t like how she changed her hair from gray to blonde, way to be indie. Her performance was really good. Judge’s comments, not so much. Kara please, “you just had your moment, moment meaning...ME!” What the fuck is she talking about?
Katelyn Epperlythe Scientist
Katelyn.................. looks................... like................. a............................ dead....................... fish..................... in................ all............. the............... background................ shots.
This song is boring and slow to begin with, she slowed it down too much. At times I thought she forgot the words. This was all bad. Boring, so boring I think she bored herself. She had moments where the look on her face read like “Where am I? What am I doing? I have to sneeze.” I liked Didi better.
I kind of love you? Kara? Are you fucking serious? Shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot!
Don’t get it.
Paige MilesWalk Away
I like to color too, but it's a sign of a retard, like eating cake. Great performance! One of the best of the night. Judges you crazy! Kara, you an idiot.
Siobhan Magnus
Think
What the fuck is she wearing!? Weirdo. You better think about that outfit girl! I liked her mohawk look. By the sound and look of her I classify her as retard genius. She sounds high all the time and her outfit is that of a 15-year-old stuck in the 2nd grade. I’m totally gonna try her shower learnin’ technique...maybe I should start taking more showers....
Top 4
1. Momma Sox
2. Paige Miles
3. Big “not-so-gray” Gray
4. Tard Genius
America - get it right and send Gozer back to the fridge and Haeley back to high school.
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1 comment:
I watched last night just so that I could comment on your blog and prove that I do in fact read it.
Crystal Bowersox is incredible, but is it wrong of me to hold it against her that she reminds me of someone who would hang out at the Delta in Davis? Or like, follow Phish around and sell pot brownies? Because that's the vibe I get, and I'm not really into it. Still, the voice can't be denied.
Lacey Brown is a fucking joke. End of story.
And I'm going to have to disagree with you on Lilly Scott - I had a moment when I watched that shit too, but not in a good way. Her vocals were boring and off key, her arrangement was lame, and overall I felt like the massacred that song. And I fucking hate her hair.
Also, tard genius totally looks like Justine Jones from Davis... trips me out.
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