Oh thank you, digital video recorder technology! Without you I would not be able to fast forward through the parade o' lame that are this years' Idol results shows and that would suck.
Seriously. We are aware that we have been beating this whole "season 9 blows" business into the ground for weeks but let's be honest, season 9 really REALLY blows. We almost can't say enough. Yeesh!
Here is what I can only assume were the "highlights" of last night's ep. I pretty much watched the entire thing on 4X FF (yep. that is the maximum speed. fuck it.) so I'm a little sketchy on the details but I pretty much got the gist of it.
- Did they do group sing? If so I missed it (maybe there IS a god!).
- If they DID do it I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it sucked. balls.
- Ryan and Simon have some serious sexual tension. Or maybe they just fight when the show is bad like a couple during tough times.
- Ruben's performing? I thought that fatass was in the clink!
- Usher's performance looked pretty wild. I almost actually watched it, then I remembered I don't give a fuck about Usher.
- Pretty sure Big Mike almost killed Seacrest.
- If he had, would they disqualify him?
- Tim Urban really IS Teflon! Either that or in league with Satan. Either way I am now rooting for him full-on.
- Was that Usher performing a second time or some other black dude? And was he teabagging Kara? Again, I was about to check this out but immediately thought better of it.
- Season 9 sucks.
- It was an obvious call that Didi would get the boot and that the judges wouldn't save her. She did throw America a curve ball by not crying like a pussy though.
- Nobody wants to hear these idiots sing the same bad song that garnered the Nation's wrath. At this point I just pushed STOP and then DELETE. 'Nuff said.
So there you have it. Thanks to DirecTV and the wondrous gift that is my DVR. No thanks to Fox and AI for sucking unfathomable amounts of ass/balls/shit this season. When does the X factor start already?
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment