Idol's back, bitches!!!

Hey kids! Welcome to IDOL THREATS!!!! The American Idol season is about to commence - and as Paula, Simon, the Diamond Dog and that new bitch scour the country for the coagulated cream of the amateur singing crop, we here at Idol Threats central are just getting things in order.

It has been a long off-season full of copious drug use (occasionally bordering on what squares call "abuse"), cold showers and bi-daily jack naps (tri-daily on Sundays). Try as we may to fill our days with fun and productive activities, nothing... and I mean NOTHING seems to be able to take the place of our beloved A.I. Not even corpse munging! I know! you'd think that would do the trick, but to quote a favorite band of mine it "don't come close".

So with a new year comes a new season of American Idol and thus, a reason to exist again! Glory! Glory! The Diamond Dog has returned! Stay tuned here to Idol Threats for all your Idol news, weekly singer roundups, continuing coverage on how that new judge is ruining the shows chemistry, details on corpse munging and jack naps (and how you can enjoy such activities at home), and up-to-the-minute musings on the unadulterated awesomeness that is Randy Jackson!

Seriously, dogs, stay tuned. You don't wanna miss this shit.