Jacksonville: cesspool of the South

This week we found ourselves in Jacksonville, Florida! I loved how the show tried to make the city seem appealing when everyone knows it's a crime-ridden shit hole. I've never been there myself but I have it on good authority that it's a locale one should steer clear from at almost any cost. With that said, here are some of my musings on last nights auditions...

Dude. I'm sorry but beat boxing on American Idol is sooooooooo 2007.

This chick has excellent taste.

"I'm coming for you, Mia! Your unbelievably shrieky horrifying high notes got nothin' on mine! Check this shit out!"

(Naomi hits brutally shrill high note)

"Oooooops. Soory, old guy with glasses! hee hee"

Seriously, what did I tell you pussies? NO CRYING IN POP MUSIC!!!! Goddamnit.

Best friends forever.

"Have you ever seen a more fabulous tranny? Pre-op too! I know, right!? Totally fooled you guys!"

Seriously, dude? Seriously!? I've had enough of this shit. This is the last time I'm saying it - NO FUCKING CRYING IN FUCKING POP MUSIC!!!!!!

"See! I TOLD you guys I was a power bottom!"

The epitome of totally fucking bad ass.

So there you have it, kids! Last night's episode was chock full of hilarious homoerotic moments (the hottest being when Kara's boob almost popped out after Paula "made out" with her) and a disturbing amount of crying in pop music. The usual bevy of mildly retarded youngsters were ridiculed and a few decent singers made it through to Hollywood (but AI failed yet again to show us much footage of them). All in all a pretty good ep. I have higher hopes for tonight's Salt Lake City episode though - them Mormons is crazy!!!