Hello IT followers. Let me start out by getting a little personal, it’s been a rough week for me. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a baby girl and those bastards named her after me. I think that sucks, big time. So here is a gigantic FUCK YOU! For stealing my name.

Ok now that that’s over, back to business.
This week American Idol has brought the weakness. San Fran offered up a fake Puerto Rican and I totally agree with Mr. Murder, fake accent all the way. But don’t you think she’s kind of a hottie? Strip away the weird dress, pink lipstick and ignore her small boobs, she’s hot in a “you’re so crazy it’s starting to turn me on,” way. I predict a fabulous career in dating shows – Blind Date meet Tatiana.

BTW. Mr. Murder I have a bone to pick with you. I, as the queen of Hobocamp, take offense to you classifying carpetbag jacket man as a bum. He is obviously a Geico caveman and has proved singing is not so easy a caveman can do it. Though the judges may just be discriminatory.

Broadway boy totally sucks nuts and I am completely disappointed with the judges. He is not one of the best he is actually one of the worst. He reminds me of a hotter version of the hated David Cook. Tons of 14-year-old girls who can’t figure out he’s totally gay, will keep him in the competition. Stay on the stage my main man. That is were you belong.

And this girl!?

Who shows up to American Idol, the best talent show of all time, without preparing a song or at least a sob story? Come on, I mean COME ON!

This competition is turning into American Sob Story. And come to think of it hated Cook is a sob story himself. Come on folks this is a motherfuckin competition. Get through on your talent and leave your story at the door, for now. I don’t want to see any kids and I don’t give a hot shit if you were homeless! My dad is a felon and a crazy, you don’t see me marching up to AI auditions now do you?

Louisville Kentucky enter Horseface “I have a Cadbury egg stuck in my throat” McGee. Can’t sing and can barely move in a non-awkward way.

The chick that Kara has heard of, the one that was previously signed, was decent. I like her and once she gets her confidence back she’ll do fine. Maybe she’ll pick up a sob story or two to solidify her place.

For the rest of the auditions I’m a bit fuzzy. Had a couple and can’t read my notes well enough to make any sense. However I vaguely remember a giantess, a super nerd with super teeth and a dueling piano guy who will be the J-Tim of season 8! Oh and next stop Florida.

I’ll end this blog with some advice for the newbie. Take it easy! Simon is a trickster and just cause he’s talking shit doesn’t mean he is going to say no. You can’t keep a shit talker quiet. Now if you talked some more shit I’m sure they’ll let you speak more. Remember Bikini Bitch? They let you talk to her all you wanted.

Whoever is dating Dane Cook should be shot on the spot, nuff said.