Saturday, January 10, 2009

A New Dawn of American Idol is at Hand!

Good day my sons! In just a couple of days we will once again enjoy awkward moments and sweet sounds of the horrible. Bring on the delusional and strange!

This year, I am hoping to see more talent gracing the prestigious AI stage. Don't get me wrong, I love crazies but, they belong in auditions only. I cannot live through another season of shockingly terrible performances. And if there ever is another Sanjaya I might just have to eat my own turkey leg and call it a day.

Sanjaya Malakar! Armed with bad hair and a bad voice, this boy stunk up the Idol top 12 stage for more weeks than I like to remember. He will forever be a black mark in the history of the show.

What is this talent-lacking hair-do up to now? It seems after sucking on a major talent show the next obvious step is to make an album, available only at amazon.com for under $4. I gave it a little listen to, “Dancing To The Music In My Head,” and well, my brother described it best, “that’s ghey” and seconds later, “that’s super ghey!



You lost American Idol, your songs suck donkey balls and your hair sucks bigger donkey balls! I’m sorry if you are going to sport a Mohawk then you better do it right. America doesn’t want to see some pussy-ass pony-tailed hawk, come on my son. Keep it all your head kid, because we certainly don’t want to hear it!

Let’s not let this happen again people. My fragile temper may start to get the best of me and we don’t want that to happen. I may be reduced to talking about my cats and their many talents – that’s not fun for anyone.

This year we get another judge, who my partner fondly refers to as ‘that bitch.’ That bitch and the return of the wildcard will hopefully give us a talented top 12 and not a group of whiner babies like last season.

However, the one video I did catch of the newbie was anything but impressive.

2 comments:

Jesse said...

Well well well, look what Serafina's mangy ass cats have drug in... A COUPLE OF AMERICAN IDOLATERS!!! I shoulda known you two knuckle heads would be up to your old shenanigans the second I left but a blog!?!?! That's the shenanigan equivalent of hobo rape (not to be confused with being raped by hobos which is totally different)! To rebut your obvious LA and cat biased AI comments I have set up an AI watching command center here in the heart of Castle Jesse Gray Skull where every second of Idol footage will be dissected by me (and my mom mostly) fed through super computers and analyzed by a third party Indian think tank to create the best Idol blog ever!!! Eat a dick and of course... DIE FOR SIMON!!!

The C Word said...

Don't be jealous of Sangina's beautiful mane... or his sweet, angelic voice...

I won't have "the TV" up in the Big O (that's what I'm calling Oakland to psych myself up for going back) so I'm sure I'll be on here every week for my highlarious idol fix... don't disappoint!!