This just in: new Idol judge kind of a hottie.

So I know I have been talking a lot of shit on the new judge whom I have just been informed, by my crack staff of researchers here at HQ, is named Kara DioGuardi. I still don't trust her as far as I could throw her (not half as far as one could throw the tiny, and therefore more trustworthy Paula Abdul) and there is a disconcertingly small amount of information about her available to the public (especially when your research is exclusive to Wikipedia) but a shocking revelation has come to my attention of late - she's kind of hot!



See what I mean!? Look at that steely gaze! The suggestive pose with one hand tucked behind the head and the other tugging suggestively at her jeans! The slutty-hot white tank top with the vest tossed asunder! And check out that "fuck me" wrist watch! Are you seeing that!? All I can say is "wow".


Now here we have Kara "classing it up" in stark contrast to her Fiona Apple, slutty waif stint in the previous picture. While I am always a fan of the slutty waif look, I think Ms. DioGuardi cleans up pretty nice! See, Kara - you're pretty when you smile. Also - is she wearing boots? That's kind of hot. AND as an added bonus she is teasing us with that little piece of skin peeking out right above her belt. It almost looks like she is using her thumb to pull her shirt up a little on the sly! Kara, you dirty whore, you!

So I guess I'm officially on the bandwagon. BUT ONLY 'CAUSE SHE'S KIND OF HOT!!! As a judge I still think she's worthless. I mean, sure she wrote some pop songs that sold a lot of records and she probably is a better judge of talent than Paula (I mean seriously, roadkill is a better judge of talent than Paula) but that doesn't mean she can just waltz in off the street and become an AI judge! She's from The One for cryin' out loud! That's like Rod Serling inviting Leslie Stevens to the Twilight Zone to co-host an episode, and we all know Rod never would have done that 'cause he had class, damnit!
That said, I'm still okay with giving Kara a chance, provided she wears kind of slutty outfits, doesn't say much and flashes us tiny pieces of skin from time to time.

Plus, think of the catfight possibilities...



This town 'aint big enough for the both of 'em! Well, it probably is since Paula is roughly the size of a thimble, but they should fight anyway! rawr!