Kara & VicBeck Find Love Over 'Not Hot Enough Vocals'

This just in! Hot off the IT intelligence wires, Kara DioGuardi and guest judge Victoria Beckham are now secret lovers! Last night it was hard not to notice the deep connection developing between the two. At one point Kara even said directly, "I like you" as she leaned over and gently arm-rubbed VicBeck. Wow, those are some pretty intense feelings and aggressive moves if you ask me!

Another darling moment of affection, displayed between the two female judges, came about with bad-itude Andrew Finland. Similar to the Bikini Girl situation, K-dog was just not having it! It seems she get's pissed when she's jealous and/or turned on by an adversary. In this case she is simply turned on by someone "more arrogant than Simon." VicBeck jumped in to get her back, just like Paula did with Bikini Girl, yet the motivation was different. Paula wanted to fuel the fire of a girl fight (cause she cool that way), whereas VickBeck was simply defending her bitch. Word has it they have a separate cell phone for their special calls.

As the first guest judge, Posh Spice was O.K. She didn't really say much until she found her balls and basically told Simon to stop being British. Damn SON! She told him in the most British way possible. "Stop doing that," as she rolled her eyes. Hummm. Maybe it's British to roll your eyes and tell others not to roll theirs. Yeah, that makes sense.

After she tea-bagged Simon, Spicy VicBeck filled the role of Paula nicely. I was even surprised to see her smile a few times. If I recall correctly she's a never-smile. Never-smiles refuse to smile, lift their eyebrows or make any other facial movement that will cause the skin to stretch or twist in any way. This is why she always looks like she is sucking on a grape. She should stop doing that.

All in all, Boston was wicked awesome. However, I am unclear as to why they would choose VicBeck as the first guest judge. Is this a nod toward the future of Idol? Little talent, big fashion? I mean, the only things she said in terms of liking someone were about the way they looked. " You look fantastic! One of my favorites I've seen, love the way you are dressed, naturally beautiful, very talented!" I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all, she is a recovering never-smile.

Tonight we hit Atlanta with Mary J. Blige! Can't wait to see what Blige has to offer in this crazy no-Paula-not-yet-Ellen time. Will she throw down with Simon? Become Randy's lady dog? Sit on Kara's face to stop the senseless noise that escapes from it? Will it rain anymore in Los Angeles today? Only time will tell my sons, only time will tell.

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